Thursday, April 12, 2012

Ladies, move your business forward!

Hi all!

Sorry for the long silence. I’m head deep into my clothing line and it’s looking really good! I’m going to post some of the designs here for you to see very soon.

For being so supportive and for believing, in your own little way, in my dreams, I would like to sponsor two people to the Business Women’s Workshop happening next week Saturday. It’s a workshop that will teach women with small businesses how to grow their businesses 100%. They need only 30 women passionate about taking their businesses forward. It’ll be a privilege to be there as it is an exclusive workshop that will also give you the opportunity to get 30 new customers! A great way to network, brainstorm, strategize and grow your business.
So if you are interested to be part of the workshop send a mail to adaoraukoh@gmail.com. Tell me what you do and why I should sponsor you to this workshop.

That’s my little contribution to making you a bigger and more successful business woman.

Now I have to go back to designing my clothes for plus-sized women.

See you all later!

-          Adaora

Monday, April 2, 2012

First Quarter of our Lives!

Quarterly Performance Appraisal.

That’s what we call the mental sheet that we use to decide how well we have fared in last quarter of the year. So how well do you think you have fared? Did you get the job you were aiming for? Did you start that business? Have you proposed to your partner? Have you gotten that promotion? Did you start that new project/initiative you were working on? Have you been able to take your career a notch higher as you had anticipated? Did you win that award you wished you won last year?

What did you achieve in the frost quarter of 2012 that just went by?

Did you become a better person? Have you dealt with you anger issues? Your pain? Have you forgiven that person? Are you managing your time wisely now?

If you haven’t achieved as much as you had planned, it’s ok. Take stock of what you think you achieved so that by the end of the second quarter, you’ll have something to show for the days of your lives.

It’s a new week. Get on that job and make it work!



-          Adaora

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Love is mad!

Love is hard, and with the unravelling truths around us, we now know it is also mad! That is why sometimes it is better to let love go. Just let it go. You’ll find happiness on your own. And if it looks impossible, lean to the only true Love that cannot hurt you, scar you and leave you to die – Jesus!

If he hits you, he can't say he loves you.
Then listen to some soul music. No one does it like the big, bold and beautiful Adele at the moment, so find some succour in her music. I have posted the lyrics of “Someone like you” below so it can comfort you.

Remember, love is a beautiful thing. But even Lucifer was once an angel of heaven.
Anything can be corrupted. Think about it.

- Adaora



Adele: “Someone Like You”

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, "
Yeah

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

3 things I’m loving...

I woke up yesterday to the sound of Dbanj’s “Oliver Twist” coming from my neighbour’s house. After a few hours and chores done, I put on the TV and there I saw the video of the song for the first time. Wow! I was so impressed, and so happy for him…and of course, Don Jazzy. No matter the decision they make, I think for the time they were together they made some of the best music of this time.

It seems something is roaring in the Nigerian spirit these days especially in the quarters that can impact change faster. The last time was when we stood up against the treatment meted to Nigerians in South Africa in regards to yellow fever certification issues. The government was not slow and indifferent as they usually are, but they took a fast decision to fight back and defend the integrity of Nigerians. I was happy like all Nigerians must have been. Then only yesterday, we hear that the government is taking the British Airways years of being apathetic to the Nigerian traveller and with the reality of Nigerian trips to the UK being the highest in the world very seriously and looking into ways of curbing BA’s excesses. Great! There’s nothing as satisfying as knowing that your government cares about the things that affect its citizens. We await the result of all of this.

big. bold. beautiful.
And thirdly, I am sooooooo loving my new Big, Bold, and Beautiful collection of “Adaora” – my new fashion line. Everything is looking so great at the moment. I’ll be meeting with my publicist, the effervescent Joy Isi Bewaji, and we’ll be going through the collection together before we release the launch date. My heart is in my mouth but I am hopeful and positive that it will all turn out very well.
Wish me luck J

So what are you guys up to this winning Wednesday? Make the best use of the day cos it is a gift from God.

See ya!

-          Adaora

Monday, March 26, 2012

Life's Best Choices

I read the story of a young lady who died during the process of trying to have another child for her husband – a man who did not regard her in any way, not even after two children. She stuck with the marriage, believing that it’ll get better with time, but it never did. Her in-laws turned her life into hell and her husband fuelled it.

It was sad to read that such a pretty woman lived such a miserable life in marriage.
What does that tell us?

This marriage thing is not by force. You have a choice – in fact, CHOICE is the best gift from God (after salvation)! We do not know how much of a wonderful God we have, how much he has put at our disposal, how much freedom we are allowed to explore – it makes NO sense to lose it all because of another human being.

Ladies, STOP falling head over heels in love with men who do not love you. If he stops loving you and stops treating you the way he used to – to a point of violence and total disregard, the first thing you think about is YOU; not the children and definitely not him. Think of YOUR safety first; make decisions that will save you before thinking of whether the children will miss their father if you divorce him.

Come on ladies wake up! This nonsense must stop. Marriage is not a do-or-die affair. If it is broken and cannot be fixed, walk. Save yourself! If you don’t you may lose your life and another woman will come in and handle your children.

We make all these lame excuses for men; enough! This attitude women have is born out of an inferiority complex. You do not need a man to be complete.
Another story of a policeman that bathe his wife with petrol is still fresh in the news. And believe it or not, the woman is still considering going back to him!

Madness!
That is not love; it is a deep-seated insecurity that deludes some women.
This is my piece today. Sadly, it hurts really deep.

Love yourself women. Love yourself.

Selah!

- Adaora

Thursday, March 22, 2012

The Young and Desperate!

Oh my goodness, I have the craziest publicist in the entire world!

Joy Isi Bewaji writes for…well…almost every respectable media. Yesterday I got a link to one of her articles on ynaija.com, I have been rolling on the floor laughing my sexy big and beautiful ass off.

You all need to read this and tell me if it reminds you of someone you know.  It’s so hilarious and painful at the same time. Tomorrow I’ll take the subject up and add my own voice, but just read what she’s got first:

***

On the Red Carpet, everyone’s an idiot
Call up the shrink if you must ‘cos I am certain anyone who consistently struts on the red carpet week after week in Lagos needs help!

Here’s the familiar red carpet scenario: there’s an event coming up. Katie, a student and a part-time groupie, is working towards getting the ‘strictly by invitation’ VIP card. She calls the bank manager she spent a night with last week if he can help out. He can’t; in fact he’s not sure how a fashion/music event is any of his business, he has three children and a greedy wife to take care of.

She sends SMS to the local government chairman whom she gave a blow job in his SUV a month back for assistance. He didn’t respond.
She pings her boyfriend – the one she spends time with when the other one is not in town, he is not sure how to get the invites but would like to tag along when she figures it out. She sends him an angry emoticon!

Then she calls her girl who is currently dating a club owner on the Island. Her friend has one extra invite for the gig but would like to know what Katie would be wearing.
“I’m not sure yet; I’ll probably get something from Mobos. But I’ve got killer Loubs to die for.”

“Hmmmph!” her friend snorts.

Invite now sorted, Katie sprints from one end of Lagos to the other.
Pedicure/Manicure: Check!

Makeup artiste: Check!
Body magic: check!

Hermes-bag-borrowed-from-an-acquaintance: Check!
Brazilian-weave-money-shagged-off-Alhaji: double Check!!!

She wakes up on the morning of the event. She casually tweets about being invited for this gig but isn’t so sure she has the time or can make it there today.

“got loads of work to do…” she tweets, and the devil is impressed.
The invitation card states 6pm as the kick-off time. By 7pm, Katie heads to the shower then pours herself into her body magic.
She slithers into her dress – an outfit that can barely contain her boobs, wears her perfume, and then her Louboutins.

Nothing is yet as outrageous as her makeup. Long flickering lashes, layers and layers of foundation, bright red blush, full red lips, and a deliberate messy Brazilian weave. She’s trying to achieve the Kim-Kardashian-rolling-out-of-bed look.

At the event the hall is still being arranged. And it is 8.30pm.

The red carpet has turned to burnt brown as everyone wants a spot on it. Katie poses with every celebrity in sight, and manages to pour her breasts on Tuface. If only she could…
But he was gone before she could proceed with any reasonable plan. Now she is asking Jesse Jagz for a picture with her phone in that excruciating accent people come up with the minute they step on the red-carpet:

“hoiya, I’d luuurve to ‘ave a pinshure wid yeu.”

Champagne is scarce on the red carpet, yet people are supposed to remain standing for more than 3 hours! And the idiots, they stand and wait as if their lives depend on it.
Finally it is time to go in, and you suffer another round of discrimination/humiliation. The first round was, of course, before the red carpet – at the main gate with the bouncers. To get into the auditorium/hall, you have to have a recognisable face cos those bouncers like angry policemen take delight in making you wonder how dumb you must be to leave your house in the first place.

After 5 hours, Katie finally gets into the hall. Her feet burns like hell, but she’s going to suck it all in and pray that, may be, Dr. Sid’s publicist (at the least) looks her way…
It takes another hour to finally get the event on the roll. It’s now past midnight. Everyone is falling over one another to get a good glimpse of MI. Only then did she realise she ‘forgot’ to put on her underwear.

The show ends by 2pm. Katie is tired and unfulfilled. But she’ll do it all over again next week. There’s this jimmy choo she saw at The Palms…












Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Just thinking of Bieber

I am writing this after watching a documentary on Justin Bieber, the beauty of becoming a star at such a young age. I watched the gradual growth of this young boy.

What I’m getting at is how his growth had meaning. He learned to play the keyboard and guitar. He sang in local competition and even sang on the streets. One time he made enough money to take his mother on a vacation!
That goes for many successful Hollywood stories – Angelina Jolie, even when she was already loved by the world, still got lessons from acting school.

But in this part of the world, you have to compromise everything you are just to show your talent. It is so crazy. Companies would leave the talented and hardworking one and give the business to the one sleeping with the boss or the one whose father is related to the CEO.

That is why we are backwards even in little things. Everything in Nigeria is mediocre because real talent is subdued and oppressed for the wack ones to grow.
If you don’t have money of your own or you are not from a rich family, just forget it!

Sad.

I realise that Justin Bieber’s success is a combination of many things – talent, hardwork, opportunity, people, the right environment, and strategy.
Now we are all living in a Bieber’s world! All because a young man dreamed and a society allowed him to grow.
What is Nigeria doing to her own people?
Let’s meditate on the future.

-          Adaora

Monday, March 19, 2012

Money-making Monday!

Money is good. But it has its place like everything else. The problem these days is we don’t seem to know or appreciate the limitations of money. We stretch it to do or cover for things it has no business with.

Integrity for instance, money cannot cover for it. But it does these days, doesn’t it? We over look major personal flaws in people just because they have money!
It is sad.

Money cannot cover for human dignity or self-respect. A poor man can have self-respect, and money does not automatically bequeath a man with poise or decorum.

Money cannot make you happy if you are a bitter person.

Money cannot buy you a good partner if you cannot attract one with your kindness or charm.
Money cannot buy you peace of mind.

It cannot buy you true friendship.

It cannot sustain your appetite for God’s word.

I can go on and on.

Money has its place, yes. It makes us comfortable, gives us an edge, open doors, shuts doors….

Money can do a lot, but it cannot do everything.

So as you enter a new week, give money a task to accomplish, but do not make it the master of your life.

Have a money-making Monday!

-          Adaora

Friday, March 16, 2012

Music in my heart!


After following up on articles about Goldie’s new album, I finally got around to listening to it yesterday.
Like I said, I was troubled by personal financial matters and I needed an escape desperately, so as I called my publicist to vent out my frustration, she recommended a dose of Goldie’s art and insisted I get a copy of her new album and see if it would cheer me up.
Hmmmm.
Well, I had no choice at this point cos I was sure anything was better than staring at my ceiling. When I got the album, I had planned to spend just an hour with it but I ended up spending the whole day blasting the music so loud that my floors vibrated.
I think I have found good company for the weekend!
Oh yes! That is how beautiful Goldie’s “Gold Reloaded” album is. It moves from very funky songs to sweet love songs, like a blanket it soothes you. I really did get a trip just playing some of the songs over and over again.
I have a few favourites already. The first song on the album, “Don’t wanna leave” is just a warm song. It doesn’t make you sad, it just keeps your heart beating, and wanting with the hope of getting. It’s positive and cheery and speaks to our heart.
Then I like “don’t touch my body” the remix of the song in this album is pure magic.
“Say My name” I have heard on radio many times and it is indeed a great song. I also like “Point and kill’, she did that with Kas. I hear BankyW’s voice on one of the tracks, and another track “DJ Play on” is so cool.
I’m not exactly a music critic or anything close, but as a consumer, I can tell what good music sounds like.
It’s always inspiring when you see women conquer their fears and make good their talent.
Well done, Goldie!
I’m already in the weekend mood, and apart from Goldie’s nice album, I’ll be re-playing Flavour’s ‘catch cold’ and Omawumi’s “bottom belle”.
All the songs I love!
So, what songs do you like?
Have a day filled with music in your heart *wink!
-          Adaora

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Ugly Challenges, Beautiful Conquest!

Phew! It has been a tough week.

I’ve been shooting a movie out of town and only just got back.
My ipad is messing up and my driver whom I left my car with announced to me that it has some mechanical fault. And then to top my frustration, a good friend called to tell me she is leaving her husband.

Sigh!

It makes me realise how very alone we all are in the world. Our battle is for us to fight alone. Everyone is busy fighting theirs.
Whatever your battle is, look it in the face and say: “I am not going to crumble under your weight, I will survive!
fight the good fight!
Because, really, you have no other choice than to survive.
I’m trying to survive by keeping my head above water.
I’m still getting my fashion line ready. Everyone who has had the benefit of seeing some of my work is excited.
And primarily as an actor, I’m still giving every movie the best acting I possibly can.
No matter what the situation is: a divorce, unemployment, barrenness, lack of ideas…whatever; we can all rise above them and strive for a better life.
Let’s make the best of what is left in the day.

Be a conqueror!

-          Adaora


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Strut in something fabulous!

So sorry my lovelies for not being around the Café for a while, it has been a hectic ride, but fulfilling. As I told you all, I am working on my plus-size collection. It is a project that is taking all of my sleep. Lol!

My publicist and I are putting our heads together to ensure the launch event will be one to look forward to. Adaora, as the fashion line will be called, is primarily focused on the big woman with great taste; confident and not afraid to strut in something fabulous!
be big. be fabulous!
We’ll be launching a collection of unique designs for all shapes and sizes of the plus-size woman. And I have my friends in the industry participating! More gist on that later.

For the moment, I would like to place a plus-sized fan on the runway with the rest of my friends, mostly Nollywood actresses who are also plus-size.
If you follow me on twitter and you would like to strut in something fabulous. I would like you to drop a comment here and let’s see how you can be part of it. Remember, you have to be plus-size. That is size 14 and above.

Send your request along with a picture of you to: adaoraukoh@gmail.com
We need to make ourselves feel beautiful. The world would have to catch up later. Lol!

Ok, so I’m going back to my sketches. I’ll be waiting for your comments.
Enjoy your day.

-          Adaora

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Too Thick to be Famous?

Yesterday I was told I couldn’t be on the cover of a magazine because… “you are not that popular.”

I beg your pardon????
If Gabby can do it, so can any plus-size woman!


Now that ticked me off! I am usually well-mannered and can be extremely patient with people. But for anyone to tell me that my blog gives me more popularity than my over 15 years in the movie industry, I think that is just the most depressing thing to say!

As part of my publicity to push my brand, there’s a possibility that I would be in the media often so that the brand grows. One of that push was for the cover of a magazine. It’s heart breaking to now hear that…”she is not big enough in the industry to grace a cover”…. “her size might not encourage young girls to live healthy…” etc.

I work just as hard as anyone else, and as a plus-size I have to work even harder. And I am not complaining; I give my career the best shot.

But yesterday, it just dawned on me that no matter how I try, there are still somethings that are going to be used to judge my talent. It looks like it is better to be slim and un-talented than to be big and talented. People just don’t want to deal with your size. But it is not their problem to deal with, so why discriminate? And to be sincere, I have never thought my weight was an issue to anyone else except myself. Still I am happy the way I am. I eat right, I exercise, I love life.

If I was probably a size 4 and with not much of a talent, I would have been on every cover magazine, right? Even if my talent is in question.

Yesterday was hard. I flared up when I heard those words. But I took it all in. I prayed and continue living my life.

I am big. I am talented. It is who I am. I love me. What more does life want from me?

Enjoy today, as always!

-          Adaora


Monday, March 5, 2012

Monday Fabulousity!

Hiya!

It’s a new week and I hope you are all up to something epic!

I’m at a shoot in Owerri at the moment and have been spending my lazy hours reading up on fabulous quotes online.

As women, we are a gift to the world. I believe every woman should surround herself with only positive people. If you have a negative friend or are in a bad relationship, I just want you to know you deserve a whole lot better than what you must be getting. I woke up this morning feeling very beautiful, it is a feeling I’m sure will last the whole week and longer. The more we think of ourselves in a positive light, the more confident we are, and the more we are able to achieve!

Go out and rock your world. And if you are plus-sized, you know you’ll get everything in good supply– love, wealth and happiness - running over and shaken together *wink! Always remember you are fabulous!

Here are a few quotes on women that I just can’t get enough of. Let me know what you think.

Enjoy Monday!

-          Adaora


It is the plain women who know about love; the beautiful women are too busy being fascinating. - KATHARINE HEPBURN

The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?” - SIGMUND FREUD

Men are allowed to have passion and commitment for their work ... a woman is allowed that feeling for a man, but not her work. - BARBRA STREISAND

Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything. - PARIS HILTON

Everything about woman is a riddle, and everything about woman has a single solution: that is, pregnancy. - FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE

No matter what a woman looks like, if she's confident, she's sexy. - PARIS HILTON

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation. - Brigham Young

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous. - Coco Chanel

Friday, March 2, 2012

Life’s second chances

Happy new month everyone!!!!

March is already taking flight. Wow! How time rolls by! Before you know it, it’s December and we are welcoming a new year – 2013.
It’s scary, I tell you. It feels like life is just way faster than the dreams I have planned, and I find myself playing catch-up. I am aware I am in no competition with anyone but myself, but sometimes you just want to look around you to see who’s doing way better than you.

Sigh!
Life is tough. But we keep pushing because the minute you stop, it means you are ready to say goodbye to the world. It is not failing that makes you a failure, it is not giving it any push that makes you one.
We will succeed in Jesus’ name. Amen!

Life, it always seems, gives us a second chance to try again. Be better. Be kinder. Be nicer. Love deeper. Speak softly. Care immensely.
I disappeared for two days from the Café because I was thinking about a lot of stuff – my life, and what I need to achieve this year. Am I close? Am I far? Am I doing well? Only time will tell.
 I still have nine months to judge my progress. It’ll all work out, I’m putting my heart into everything I desire. And with His mercies, we shall achieve.

For a new month, I’ll just leave you with some of the quotes that have impacted my life.

Have a swell weekend!

-          Adaora

*****
“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.” – William W. Purkey


*****
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

*****

“Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

*****

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure your hands are clean!”  - Bob Marley


*****

“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.” – John Greenleaf Whittier

*****

“It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.” – Andre Gide

*****

“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.” – Anais Nin


Tuesday, February 28, 2012

“Hello Friend, Is there poison in my tea?”

Friendship is a hard thing. Sometimes it brings you joy, other times pain and regret.

I have been a victim of sour friendship. A friend should be someone who stands by you through it all but in a fast-paced society, it is almost impossible to find that kind of friendship that is loyal and true to you.

I remember a particular friend. We both started off good, but things went really bad at some point. It was basically fuelled by her determination to see that I don’t rise above her; and me, in all my simplicity didn’t see her coming with her conniving ways.

I applauded her rise even when she was hell-bent on proving that I couldn’t rise just as fast. She even ridiculed my weight at some point; going as far as making sure that my size would be a hindrance to my progress in life.

*Sigh!* Just thinking about it now still breaks my heart.

Even then, I tried to make up with her after so many years of unnecessary enmity, but she literally banged the phone on me when I called.

I shrugged it off. She’s living her life; and I am living mine. Life must go on.

Unlike parents and siblings, we have the opportunity to choose the friends that we want around us. Sometimes we choose the wrong ones, sometimes we get it right. I wouldn’t say I have been lucky in that department of life, but no matter who comes into my life, I try to give my best into it.

I see her growth, and I still wish her well. But I’m not sure if she wishes the same for me.

The worst thing that can happen to friendship is when it becomes competitive. People say competition is healthy, most of the time it is not.

The only competition that should be encouraged is the competition you have with yourself, not when you try so desperately to be better than someone else. How are you sure you are both on the same page in life. How can you be so sure you are even heading in the same direction? What if she’s going North, and you are heading South?

Friendship is for loving, caring and sharing; not for warring.

Let’s find a friend today, but be careful who you let into your life. If you can’t leave your cup of tea on the table for fear of poisoning, then that friend is better off without that tag.

Good morning.

-          Adaora

Monday, February 27, 2012

Sonia, what were you thinking?

We woke up on Saturday to the blatant pictures of an 18-year-old girl licking on DavidO’s (19) tattoo in bed (after rounds of sex, of course), and with no speck of shame, the young lady tweets about how great his d**k is.

Please don’t laugh cos there’s nothing remotely funny about it. We are talking teenagers here. This girl has all her priorities mixed up and in the nearest future will reap abundantly this stupidity she has sown in her life and on the world wide web. I am saddened. What have we become? What has the world become? Sonia (the girl in question) tweets again that out of many she was chosen so she has to show-off; and adds that: “all na hustle!”

The world is truly coming to an end.

I remember when I was 18; what did I know? All I cared about was making it through school with good results and getting my career path sorted. Sex was not on that list. It is not supposed to be. And it is just heart-breaking that many people believe there’s nothing wrong with what she did; and even go on to call anyone who does a hater!

This happened only a day or two after Joy Isi Bewaji, my friend and publicist, wrote a piece on ynalja titled: On Hiphop, hos, and air-heads, thoroughly capturing the culture of hip-hop and how it must share the blame in the lives of girls like Sonia. The culture of hip-hop is so desperate, so stark, so vain, it’s no wonder why so many Sonias are created out of it these days.

I have copied the article for my blog visitors to read and see just how important it is to live your life away from the dictates of some kind of music that births some kind of lifestyle.

Enjoy and share your thoughts….


Thought Couture: On Hiphop, hos, and air-heads by Joy Isi Bewaji

From the few amazing hip-hop lyrics Nigerians have had the privilege of listening to, to the grumpy mishap of so many others, it would seem that hip-hop admires only one kind of woman – the heavily endowed anatomy that is ‘packed’ on both ends with a lot of thick flesh not easily shaken. In a way, this has formed the ideal kind of woman for even regular dudes with no concrete reason why they seem drawn to that specification. Whatever thoughts we have of black music (especially) and how it runs the risk of making teenage girls lose their virginity too fast, or a desperate need for women to wear butt pads and padded bras just to fit the stereotype hip-hop look, it is at risk of making young men treacherously deluded when it comes to their expectations of the female form.

Hilarious as it may seem that a grown man with, hopefully, a working brain would need to pick a partner based on the size of her boobs in comparison with that of Amber Rose and expect that singular decision should lead to a happy relationship is beyond me. But it is happening every day. It is a culture that derides any woman with average built. And because we rely mostly on hip-hop more than any other genre to entertain us, we are quick to buy into the fantasies of what is on offer.

One of it is the unnecessary need for guys to be insensitive. If you go on twitter most guys, between the ages of 18 – 32, spend too much of their time dissing women and their body-parts. A tweet that speaks tactlessly on women and how far many of them are cursed with small this-and-that would receive many staggering re-tweets and replies in only a few minutes. This goes to show that the best way to stay relevant and cool on social network is to pick jokes at women. It wouldn’t be so pathetic if the women themselves did not indulge these boys, trying to make them see how blessed they (women) are to be endowed with the ideal hip-hop anatomy by displaying their body parts at the only form of identification on their pages. There is, of course, the ripple effect that comes out of this – people meet up, sex happens, life becomes complicated. And to get some kind of sanity back, we turn to the music and the cycle happens all over again.

Secondly, it is disturbing how women allow a few videos, probably photo-shopped look of another woman determine their own level of beauty and happiness. It used to be that everyone wanted to be fit, especially for health reasons; we work out, try to lose all that weight and stay a size 4 hopefully (unless you are born with big bones). When you do all the necessary exercise and diet, the normal result would be smaller breasts and fitter buttocks. That is a way of keeping the weight issues at bay. But now we are back to the fattening room, not because we really want to be fat but we need certain parts of our bodies to remain fat so we fit into the needs of the 21st century guy who just cannot think straight or make any concrete decision in life without the need to ride on an XXXL sized booty.

It’s a hip-hop problem.

Even our idea of love and relationship is twisted. A guy that shows any form of vulnerability towards the opposite sex is considered a douche bag, a fag, less-than-a-man. The culture of hip-hop expects him to be brash, insensitive, rough, tough, easy to discard, and indifferent. And if at all he thinks you are cool (after assessing if you have a whooping booty and actual boobs), he makes it clear it’s just for the shags, no commitment…

So the results are: too many hos, too many players, lots of drugs, air-heads, and a total depreciation of societal values.

Along the line, we see that violence also finds a place in the equation with bratty, unapologetic behaviour from young adults who should be more concerned about building careers.

Little wonder we have women who would readily make themselves available for a quack doctor to inject cement into their butt! It is sheer madness that has been fuelled for years by hip-hop.

Here’s a story so gloriously tacky that it never leaves the lips of a circle of friends: it is about a guy who was sold on the hip-hop hype and wanted to be with a thick woman so badly that all he cared about was the size of certain parts of a woman. He ends up with one with just the right size that could compete with any video vixen. They get into the groove and pow!!! He discovers she’s just “a bag of fat” after all the clothes “keeping ‘em all together” comes off!

And then another one who marries the anatomy-of-desire, exchange vows with these body-parts he chose for himself and then right in front of him, she grows obese after three children.

You see, it’s just music. Even when they sell a certain kind of image, these musicians live very different lives away from the pictures you see in their videos.

So doesn’t it make you rather unintelligent that you would carve your own desires and future around something that is almost unreal?


Friday, February 24, 2012

The Big and Bold decision

Adele won six Grammys at the just concluded event.
The beauty of that win is for everyone, especially plus-sized women.
There’s a reason why I started this blog. If you look at my pay-off it says: “the life and ambition of a plus-sized sweetheart.”
I am here to celebrate the plus-sized woman because I am one. So when I see a plus-sized sister succeed in a tough environment - an environment that clearly makes her feel uncomfortable because of its frequent request for her to lose weight, to stay a certain size, to find ‘beauty’ - it makes me glad.
Adele has suffered bad relationships, and only God knows what else especially in the skinny-obsessed America. But she triumphs eventually. And not just a drop of success but a sweeping achievement that would be hard to beat!
It brought tears to her eyes. My heart leapt for her!
What that tells you, my dear fellow plus-sized sweethearts is: nothing, and I repeat, nothing is beyond your reach. People may try to define what they think is good for you, but it is only you (and the God that you worship) that can truly position and make you shine beyond anyone’s imagination.
The world is a tough place to be; but we are all in it, and we must trudge on to find definition for ourselves.

That is the challenge.
And not matter what others are going through. It seems the plus-sized people have a harder chance at making it work.

Sigh!

But Adele success is a good booster for our ego.
No matter your sex – man or woman. Create the world you want for yourselves, because at the end of it, the laws of nature does not care what size you are.

And who says you are not beautiful? Stand in front of your mirror in all your glory and declare the beauty that you are. God does not create ugly. Appreciate who you are!
The weekend is here already. Celebrate your life.
Yay!

-          Adaora

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Cupid hasn't left town just yet!

Hey all!

A new show is starting this evening on CityFM 105.1. I’m excited cos it’s a show that will be anchored by my publicist, Joy Isi Bewaji, and I have also had the privilege of getting a scoop of what it’s about. It’s gonna be different, fun, and fresh! So tune in by 5pm.

She’s gonna be match-making celebrities. And the twitter page has been hot since Monday with all kinds of peeps playing cupid. LOL!

If I were to join in the game, I’d pick a couple of names who I think would look super-cool together:

The first set would be DonJazzy and Toolz. Toolz is the OAP on Beat FM. She’s thick, she’s curvy, she’s hot. And you know I love my plus-sized sisters! I think they’ll look good together.

Banky W would make a good match with Tiwa Savage. Their kids will be so beautiful! Don’t you agree?

In my industry, I’ll give Muna to Nonso Diobi just because they already look like siblings – all round cuteness.

Who would you like to see together? You can join in the game. The twitter handle is @Ent_Top3

Join in the fun!

Another gist that’s hot is MI’s multimillion naira office. Don’t you just love that guy? Success is such sweet syrup. All the best, superstar!

For the rest of us, go out and prosper. God will make us all bigger.

Cheers!

-          Adaora

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Wake. Stretch. Jerk off!

I refuse to talk about the news making rounds that a popular pastor thinks masturbation isn’t a sin. I am neither here nor there on the matter *coughs*
What I really want to talk about is the reasons why we do what we do all in the name of love…or in the name of what love can give back to us.
In this case, love represents a visa, money, a job, a house, some kind of connection to bigger things…anything that makes us bigger, richer or better.
If you didn’t see the picture that made its round on social network last week, well here it is………..
Please allow me to Laugh Out Loud!!!!
It is one thing to be desperate enough to end up with someone for all the wrong reasons, but it is another kettle of shame when your family members play along with you.
Haba!
So who’s going to put this young man in shape if he is so deluded to think that marrying an older, bald woman would give him the keys to the room full of gold?
Let’s get creative for a bit and see how this script might play out:
They get to UK, US, wherever the chick is from…
She gets back to work and he resumes his duty as the bed-mate, watching all the series on TV, eating everything within his reach, getting her dinner warm, and of course warming her bed.
Until she gets tired of fending for this black man with enough energy in bed to move mount Kilamanjaro…
She starts to get ticked off and then he goes out to look for a job
He gets a job as a cleaner in a restaurant…
He starts to flirt with his Asian colleague
She is younger and fresher, and makes the mistake of leaving their flirty texts on his phone
Baldie wife snoops around and finds the texts
Now his ass is going to be fried in the kitchen, and threats of throwing him back to Africa where lions will finish the job is screamed until her veins turn from green to purple….
In all of this, young Nigerian male is still yet to find the gold room…it doesn’t exist of course, and he has to WORK like every other human being to make money!
But you would think everyone would know that….hmmm!
I think it hurts even God when we delude ourselves to think we can reap from someone on the basis of their nationality, colour etc. Make the best of your own situation and don’t think you can jerk off forever on someone else’s fortune.
Peace.
-          Adaora