Friendship is a hard thing. Sometimes it brings you joy,
other times pain and regret.
I have been a victim of sour friendship. A friend should be
someone who stands by you through it all but in a fast-paced society, it is
almost impossible to find that kind of friendship that is loyal and true to
you.
I remember a particular friend. We both started off good,
but things went really bad at some point. It was basically fuelled by her
determination to see that I don’t rise above her; and me, in all my simplicity didn’t
see her coming with her conniving ways.
I applauded her rise even when she was hell-bent on proving
that I couldn’t rise just as fast. She even ridiculed my weight at some point;
going as far as making sure that my size would be a hindrance to my progress in
life.
*Sigh!* Just thinking about it now still breaks my heart.
Even then, I tried to make up with her after so many years
of unnecessary enmity, but she literally banged the phone on me when I called.
I shrugged it off. She’s living her life; and I am living
mine. Life must go on.
Unlike parents and siblings, we have the opportunity to
choose the friends that we want around us. Sometimes we choose the wrong ones,
sometimes we get it right. I wouldn’t say I have been lucky in that department
of life, but no matter who comes into my life, I try to give my best into it.
I see her growth, and I still wish her well. But I’m not
sure if she wishes the same for me.
The worst thing that can happen to friendship is when it
becomes competitive. People say competition is healthy, most of the time it is
not.
The only competition that should be encouraged is the
competition you have with yourself, not when you try so desperately to be
better than someone else. How are you sure you are both on the same page in
life. How can you be so sure you are even heading in the same direction? What
if she’s going North, and you are heading South?
Friendship is for loving, caring and sharing; not for
warring.
Let’s find a friend today, but be careful who you let into
your life. If you can’t leave your cup of tea on the table for fear of
poisoning, then that friend is better off without that tag.
Good morning.
-
Adaora
Na wa! Life ehn!!! God will help us all as we have all been victims of bad friends. Get your acts together babe, you can be just as fabulous as anyone else. it starts with you working and strategising just as hard! all the best!
ReplyDelete- Grace
I can imagine my BBB diva ........ I have turned victim of such so many times that I keep male friends more..... God bless u
ReplyDeleteFriendship, just like any institution, if respected, its beauty comes out like a morning glory, it’s qualities, it's worth.
ReplyDeleteIf Friendship was an object, I would want to keep it to myself, hide it from the world, take care of it and make it my own, because as I grow I see how people abuse that institution, how some treat it as a money making centre, some take it as a medium to hurt others, some use it as a bridge to their ends, some as their temporal comforting tool, others would even mix a poisoned cup of tea and watch you drink it.
I was once very worried why things went wrong between my friend and I, to me I was being a friend. I use to be a perfectionist, I wanted everything to be right, I had principles, rules, do’s n don’ts, all I wanted was to keep my friend, to be an exception, that strategy worked for a while, but things starting falling apart, it became so bad that I was left with no option but to let go, I felt betrayed, devastated, I under-estimate the hurt I could get from a friend. I needed to know what went wrong or where I went wrong…
I discovered I was the cause, my expectations were imaginary, I expected my friend to see things through my lens, I made her a cloned version of my own image, I measured her against my expectation, I expected beyond expectation…. With that failed relationship I learned a lot.
I learned not to clone anyone in my own image, not everyone understands what friendship is all about, just bcos I knew its importance didn’t mean I should suffocate others with my views. After that lesson I stayed real to myself, I was open, nice but still some came and left…. It takes God’s grace to find a true friend.
Friendship is about flexibility, follow your heart, be honest with yourself and your friends. I have learned not to abuse it, and to know when to let go, not being pathetic or fear of losing a friend, it has to be friendship, not pathetic-ship or fear-ship.
Give your intuition a chance, If your inner voice warns you about a friend, take heed and be cautious. The heart knows best when it comes to character judgment but cannot always articulate clearly in words that the mind would understand.
I wish I could close my eyes, open it and see a friend who values friendship….in fact, tomorrow I will be getting an extra day this year cos the next one will come in another 4years, (leap year things), my prayer request will be to get an (extra) ordinary friend who will share the values and beauties of friendship like I do…. I believe in Friendship, no amount of disloyal friends will make me give up on Friendship.
I pray that God will help us find a true friend.
Thanks my Adorable Ada, you are my inspiration, lots of love and respect.
Nelly
Discovering friendship is like trying to uproot the basis of trinity in one God so let's take it as we see it..
ReplyDelete