Wake. Stretch. Jerk off!

I refuse to talk about the news making rounds that a popular pastor thinks masturbation isn’t a sin. I am neither here nor there on the matter *coughs*

What I really want to talk about is the reasons why we do what we do all in the name of love…or in the name of what love can give back to us.

In this case, love represents a visa, money, a job, a house, some kind of connection to bigger things…anything that makes us bigger, richer or better.

If you didn’t see the picture that made its round on social network last week, well here it is………..

Please allow me to Laugh Out Loud!!!!

It is one thing to be desperate enough to end up with someone for all the wrong reasons, but it is another kettle of shame when your family members play along with you.

Haba!

So who’s going to put this young man in shape if he is so deluded to think that marrying an older, bald woman would give him the keys to the room full of gold?

Let’s get creative for a bit and see how this script might play out:

They get to UK, US, wherever the chick is from…

She gets back to work and he resumes his duty as the bed-mate, watching all the series on TV, eating everything within his reach, getting her dinner warm, and of course warming her bed.

Until she gets tired of fending for this black man with enough energy in bed to move mount Kilamanjaro…

She starts to get ticked off and then he goes out to look for a job

He gets a job as a cleaner in a restaurant…

He starts to flirt with his Asian colleague

She is younger and fresher, and makes the mistake of leaving their flirty texts on his phone

Baldie wife snoops around and finds the texts

Now his ass is going to be fried in the kitchen, and threats of throwing him back to Africa where lions will finish the job is screamed until her veins turn from green to purple….

In all of this, young Nigerian male is still yet to find the gold room…it doesn’t exist of course, and he has to WORK like every other human being to make money!

But you would think everyone would know that….hmmm!

I think it hurts even God when we delude ourselves to think we can reap from someone on the basis of their nationality, colour etc. Make the best of your own situation and don’t think you can jerk off forever on someone else’s fortune.

Peace.

-          Adaora