Love is mad!

Love is hard, and with the unravelling truths around us, we now know it is also mad! That is why sometimes it is better to let love go. Just let it go. You’ll find happiness on your own. And if it looks impossible, lean to the only true Love that cannot hurt you, scar you and leave you to die – Jesus!

If he hits you, he can't say he loves you.

Then listen to some soul music. No one does it like the big, bold and beautiful Adele at the moment, so find some succour in her music. I have posted the lyrics of “Someone like you” below so it can comfort you.

Remember, love is a beautiful thing. But even Lucifer was once an angel of heaven.

Anything can be corrupted. Think about it.

- Adaora



Adele: “Someone Like You”

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, "
Yeah

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah

3 things I’m loving...

I woke up yesterday to the sound of Dbanj’s “Oliver Twist” coming from my neighbour’s house. After a few hours and chores done, I put on the TV and there I saw the video of the song for the first time. Wow! I was so impressed, and so happy for him…and of course, Don Jazzy. No matter the decision they make, I think for the time they were together they made some of the best music of this time.

It seems something is roaring in the Nigerian spirit these days especially in the quarters that can impact change faster. The last time was when we stood up against the treatment meted to Nigerians in South Africa in regards to yellow fever certification issues. The government was not slow and indifferent as they usually are, but they took a fast decision to fight back and defend the integrity of Nigerians. I was happy like all Nigerians must have been. Then only yesterday, we hear that the government is taking the British Airways years of being apathetic to the Nigerian traveller and with the reality of Nigerian trips to the UK being the highest in the world very seriously and looking into ways of curbing BA’s excesses. Great! There’s nothing as satisfying as knowing that your government cares about the things that affect its citizens. We await the result of all of this.

big. bold. beautiful.

And thirdly, I am sooooooo loving my new Big, Bold, and Beautiful collection of “Adaora” – my new fashion line. Everything is looking so great at the moment. I’ll be meeting with my publicist, the effervescent Joy Isi Bewaji, and we’ll be going through the collection together before we release the launch date. My heart is in my mouth but I am hopeful and positive that it will all turn out very well.

Wish me luck J

So what are you guys up to this winning Wednesday? Make the best use of the day cos it is a gift from God.

See ya!

-          Adaora

Life's Best Choices

I read the story of a young lady who died during the process of trying to have another child for her husband – a man who did not regard her in any way, not even after two children. She stuck with the marriage, believing that it’ll get better with time, but it never did. Her in-laws turned her life into hell and her husband fuelled it.

It was sad to read that such a pretty woman lived such a miserable life in marriage.

What does that tell us?

This marriage thing is not by force. You have a choice – in fact, CHOICE is the best gift from God (after salvation)! We do not know how much of a wonderful God we have, how much he has put at our disposal, how much freedom we are allowed to explore – it makes NO sense to lose it all because of another human being.

Ladies, STOP falling head over heels in love with men who do not love you. If he stops loving you and stops treating you the way he used to – to a point of violence and total disregard, the first thing you think about is YOU; not the children and definitely not him. Think of YOUR safety first; make decisions that will save you before thinking of whether the children will miss their father if you divorce him.

Come on ladies wake up! This nonsense must stop. Marriage is not a do-or-die affair. If it is broken and cannot be fixed, walk. Save yourself! If you don’t you may lose your life and another woman will come in and handle your children.

We make all these lame excuses for men; enough! This attitude women have is born out of an inferiority complex. You do not need a man to be complete.

Another story of a policeman that bathe his wife with petrol is still fresh in the news. And believe it or not, the woman is still considering going back to him!

Madness!

That is not love; it is a deep-seated insecurity that deludes some women.
This is my piece today. Sadly, it hurts really deep.

Love yourself women. Love yourself.

Selah!

- Adaora

The Young and Desperate!

Oh my goodness, I have the craziest publicist in the entire world!

Joy Isi Bewaji writes for…well…almost every respectable media. Yesterday I got a link to one of her articles on ynaija.com, I have been rolling on the floor laughing my sexy big and beautiful ass off.

You all need to read this and tell me if it reminds you of someone you know.  It’s so hilarious and painful at the same time. Tomorrow I’ll take the subject up and add my own voice, but just read what she’s got first:

***

On the Red Carpet, everyone’s an idiot

Call up the shrink if you must ‘cos I am certain anyone who consistently struts on the red carpet week after week in Lagos needs help!

Here’s the familiar red carpet scenario: there’s an event coming up. Katie, a student and a part-time groupie, is working towards getting the ‘strictly by invitation’ VIP card. She calls the bank manager she spent a night with last week if he can help out. He can’t; in fact he’s not sure how a fashion/music event is any of his business, he has three children and a greedy wife to take care of.

She sends SMS to the local government chairman whom she gave a blow job in his SUV a month back for assistance. He didn’t respond.

She pings her boyfriend – the one she spends time with when the other one is not in town, he is not sure how to get the invites but would like to tag along when she figures it out. She sends him an angry emoticon!

Then she calls her girl who is currently dating a club owner on the Island. Her friend has one extra invite for the gig but would like to know what Katie would be wearing.

“I’m not sure yet; I’ll probably get something from Mobos. But I’ve got killer Loubs to die for.”

“Hmmmph!” her friend snorts.

Invite now sorted, Katie sprints from one end of Lagos to the other.

Pedicure/Manicure: Check!

Makeup artiste: Check!

Body magic: check!

Hermes-bag-borrowed-from-an-acquaintance: Check!

Brazilian-weave-money-shagged-off-Alhaji: double Check!!!

She wakes up on the morning of the event. She casually tweets about being invited for this gig but isn’t so sure she has the time or can make it there today.

“got loads of work to do…” she tweets, and the devil is impressed.

The invitation card states 6pm as the kick-off time. By 7pm, Katie heads to the shower then pours herself into her body magic.
She slithers into her dress – an outfit that can barely contain her boobs, wears her perfume, and then her Louboutins.

Nothing is yet as outrageous as her makeup. Long flickering lashes, layers and layers of foundation, bright red blush, full red lips, and a deliberate messy Brazilian weave. She’s trying to achieve the Kim-Kardashian-rolling-out-of-bed look.

At the event the hall is still being arranged. And it is 8.30pm.

The red carpet has turned to burnt brown as everyone wants a spot on it. Katie poses with every celebrity in sight, and manages to pour her breasts on Tuface. If only she could…

But he was gone before she could proceed with any reasonable plan. Now she is asking Jesse Jagz for a picture with her phone in that excruciating accent people come up with the minute they step on the red-carpet:

“hoiya, I’d luuurve to ‘ave a pinshure wid yeu.”

Champagne is scarce on the red carpet, yet people are supposed to remain standing for more than 3 hours! And the idiots, they stand and wait as if their lives depend on it.

Finally it is time to go in, and you suffer another round of discrimination/humiliation. The first round was, of course, before the red carpet – at the main gate with the bouncers. To get into the auditorium/hall, you have to have a recognisable face cos those bouncers like angry policemen take delight in making you wonder how dumb you must be to leave your house in the first place.

After 5 hours, Katie finally gets into the hall. Her feet burns like hell, but she’s going to suck it all in and pray that, may be, Dr. Sid’s publicist (at the least) looks her way…

It takes another hour to finally get the event on the roll. It’s now past midnight. Everyone is falling over one another to get a good glimpse of MI. Only then did she realise she ‘forgot’ to put on her underwear.

The show ends by 2pm. Katie is tired and unfulfilled. But she’ll do it all over again next week. There’s this jimmy choo she saw at The Palms…

Just thinking of Bieber

I am writing this after watching a documentary on Justin Bieber, the beauty of becoming a star at such a young age. I watched the gradual growth of this young boy.

What I’m getting at is how his growth had meaning. He learned to play the keyboard and guitar. He sang in local competition and even sang on the streets. One time he made enough money to take his mother on a vacation!

That goes for many successful Hollywood stories – Angelina Jolie, even when she was already loved by the world, still got lessons from acting school.

But in this part of the world, you have to compromise everything you are just to show your talent. It is so crazy. Companies would leave the talented and hardworking one and give the business to the one sleeping with the boss or the one whose father is related to the CEO.

That is why we are backwards even in little things. Everything in Nigeria is mediocre because real talent is subdued and oppressed for the wack ones to grow.
If you don’t have money of your own or you are not from a rich family, just forget it!

Sad.

I realise that Justin Bieber’s success is a combination of many things – talent, hardwork, opportunity, people, the right environment, and strategy.
Now we are all living in a Bieber’s world! All because a young man dreamed and a society allowed him to grow.
What is Nigeria doing to her own people?
Let’s meditate on the future.

-          Adaora

Money-making Monday!

Money is good. But it has its place like everything else. The problem these days is we don’t seem to know or appreciate the limitations of money. We stretch it to do or cover for things it has no business with.

Integrity for instance, money cannot cover for it. But it does these days, doesn’t it? We over look major personal flaws in people just because they have money!

It is sad.

Money cannot cover for human dignity or self-respect. A poor man can have self-respect, and money does not automatically bequeath a man with poise or decorum.

Money cannot make you happy if you are a bitter person.

Money cannot buy you a good partner if you cannot attract one with your kindness or charm.

Money cannot buy you peace of mind.

It cannot buy you true friendship.

It cannot sustain your appetite for God’s word.

I can go on and on.

Money has its place, yes. It makes us comfortable, gives us an edge, open doors, shuts doors….

Money can do a lot, but it cannot do everything.

So as you enter a new week, give money a task to accomplish, but do not make it the master of your life.

Have a money-making Monday!

-          Adaora

Music in my heart!

After following up on articles about Goldie’s new album, I finally got around to listening to it yesterday.

Like I said, I was troubled by personal financial matters and I needed an escape desperately, so as I called my publicist to vent out my frustration, she recommended a dose of Goldie’s art and insisted I get a copy of her new album and see if it would cheer me up.

Hmmmm.

Well, I had no choice at this point cos I was sure anything was better than staring at my ceiling. When I got the album, I had planned to spend just an hour with it but I ended up spending the whole day blasting the music so loud that my floors vibrated.

I think I have found good company for the weekend!

Oh yes! That is how beautiful Goldie’s “Gold Reloaded” album is. It moves from very funky songs to sweet love songs, like a blanket it soothes you. I really did get a trip just playing some of the songs over and over again.

I have a few favourites already. The first song on the album, “Don’t wanna leave” is just a warm song. It doesn’t make you sad, it just keeps your heart beating, and wanting with the hope of getting. It’s positive and cheery and speaks to our heart.

Then I like “don’t touch my body” the remix of the song in this album is pure magic.

“Say My name” I have heard on radio many times and it is indeed a great song. I also like “Point and kill’, she did that with Kas. I hear BankyW’s voice on one of the tracks, and another track “DJ Play on” is so cool.

I’m not exactly a music critic or anything close, but as a consumer, I can tell what good music sounds like.

It’s always inspiring when you see women conquer their fears and make good their talent.

Well done, Goldie!

I’m already in the weekend mood, and apart from Goldie’s nice album, I’ll be re-playing Flavour’s ‘catch cold’ and Omawumi’s “bottom belle”.

All the songs I love!

So, what songs do you like?

Have a day filled with music in your heart *wink!

-          Adaora

Ugly Challenges, Beautiful Conquest!

Phew! It has been a tough week.

I’ve been shooting a movie out of town and only just got back.

My ipad is messing up and my driver whom I left my car with announced to me that it has some mechanical fault. And then to top my frustration, a good friend called to tell me she is leaving her husband.

Sigh!

It makes me realise how very alone we all are in the world. Our battle is for us to fight alone. Everyone is busy fighting theirs.

Whatever your battle is, look it in the face and say: “I am not going to crumble under your weight, I will survive!

fight the good fight!

Because, really, you have no other choice than to survive.

I’m trying to survive by keeping my head above water.

I’m still getting my fashion line ready. Everyone who has had the benefit of seeing some of my work is excited.

And primarily as an actor, I’m still giving every movie the best acting I possibly can.

No matter what the situation is: a divorce, unemployment, barrenness, lack of ideas…whatever; we can all rise above them and strive for a better life.

Let’s make the best of what is left in the day.

Be a conqueror!

-          Adaora

Strut in something fabulous!

So sorry my lovelies for not being around the Café for a while, it has been a hectic ride, but fulfilling. As I told you all, I am working on my plus-size collection. It is a project that is taking all of my sleep. Lol!

My publicist and I are putting our heads together to ensure the launch event will be one to look forward to. Adaora, as the fashion line will be called, is primarily focused on the big woman with great taste; confident and not afraid to strut in something fabulous!

be big. be fabulous!

We’ll be launching a collection of unique designs for all shapes and sizes of the plus-size woman. And I have my friends in the industry participating! More gist on that later.

For the moment, I would like to place a plus-sized fan on the runway with the rest of my friends, mostly Nollywood actresses who are also plus-size.

If you follow me on twitter and you would like to strut in something fabulous. I would like you to drop a comment here and let’s see how you can be part of it. Remember, you have to be plus-size. That is size 14 and above.

Send your request along with a picture of you to: adaoraukoh@gmail.com

We need to make ourselves feel beautiful. The world would have to catch up later. Lol!

Ok, so I’m going back to my sketches. I’ll be waiting for your comments.

Enjoy your day.

-          Adaora

Too Thick to be Famous?

Yesterday I was told I couldn’t be on the cover of a magazine because… “you are not that popular.”

I beg your pardon????

If Gabby can do it, so can any plus-size woman!

Now that ticked me off! I am usually well-mannered and can be extremely patient with people. But for anyone to tell me that my blog gives me more popularity than my over 15 years in the movie industry, I think that is just the most depressing thing to say!

As part of my publicity to push my brand, there’s a possibility that I would be in the media often so that the brand grows. One of that push was for the cover of a magazine. It’s heart breaking to now hear that…”she is not big enough in the industry to grace a cover”…. “her size might not encourage young girls to live healthy…” etc.

I work just as hard as anyone else, and as a plus-size I have to work even harder. And I am not complaining; I give my career the best shot.

But yesterday, it just dawned on me that no matter how I try, there are still somethings that are going to be used to judge my talent. It looks like it is better to be slim and un-talented than to be big and talented. People just don’t want to deal with your size. But it is not their problem to deal with, so why discriminate? And to be sincere, I have never thought my weight was an issue to anyone else except myself. Still I am happy the way I am. I eat right, I exercise, I love life.

If I was probably a size 4 and with not much of a talent, I would have been on every cover magazine, right? Even if my talent is in question.

Yesterday was hard. I flared up when I heard those words. But I took it all in. I prayed and continue living my life.

I am big. I am talented. It is who I am. I love me. What more does life want from me?

Enjoy today, as always!

-          Adaora

Monday Fabulousity!

Hiya!

It’s a new week and I hope you are all up to something epic!

I’m at a shoot in Owerri at the moment and have been spending my lazy hours reading up on fabulous quotes online.

As women, we are a gift to the world. I believe every woman should surround herself with only positive people. If you have a negative friend or are in a bad relationship, I just want you to know you deserve a whole lot better than what you must be getting. I woke up this morning feeling very beautiful, it is a feeling I’m sure will last the whole week and longer. The more we think of ourselves in a positive light, the more confident we are, and the more we are able to achieve!

Go out and rock your world. And if you are plus-sized, you know you’ll get everything in good supply– love, wealth and happiness - running over and shaken together *wink! Always remember you are fabulous!

Here are a few quotes on women that I just can’t get enough of. Let me know what you think.

Enjoy Monday!

-          Adaora

It is the plain women who know about love; the beautiful women are too busy being fascinating. - KATHARINE HEPBURN

The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?” - SIGMUND FREUD

Men are allowed to have passion and commitment for their work ... a woman is allowed that feeling for a man, but not her work. - BARBRA STREISAND

Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything. - PARIS HILTON

Everything about woman is a riddle, and everything about woman has a single solution: that is, pregnancy. - FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE

No matter what a woman looks like, if she's confident, she's sexy. - PARIS HILTON

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation. - Brigham Young

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous. - Coco Chanel

Life’s second chances

Happy new month everyone!!!!

March is already taking flight. Wow! How time rolls by! Before you know it, it’s December and we are welcoming a new year – 2013.

It’s scary, I tell you. It feels like life is just way faster than the dreams I have planned, and I find myself playing catch-up. I am aware I am in no competition with anyone but myself, but sometimes you just want to look around you to see who’s doing way better than you.

Sigh!

Life is tough. But we keep pushing because the minute you stop, it means you are ready to say goodbye to the world. It is not failing that makes you a failure, it is not giving it any push that makes you one.
We will succeed in Jesus’ name. Amen!

Life, it always seems, gives us a second chance to try again. Be better. Be kinder. Be nicer. Love deeper. Speak softly. Care immensely.

I disappeared for two days from the Café because I was thinking about a lot of stuff – my life, and what I need to achieve this year. Am I close? Am I far? Am I doing well? Only time will tell.
 I still have nine months to judge my progress. It’ll all work out, I’m putting my heart into everything I desire. And with His mercies, we shall achieve.

For a new month, I’ll just leave you with some of the quotes that have impacted my life.

Have a swell weekend!

-          Adaora

*****

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.” – William W. Purkey

*****

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

*****

“Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

*****

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure your hands are clean!”  - Bob Marley

*****

“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.” – John Greenleaf Whittier

*****

“It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.” – Andre Gide

*****

“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.” – Anais Nin