Valentine is almost here *coughs*. I feel a certain kind of excitement that even the typical anticipated Lagos traffic and all-round madness may not be able to quench. Like every young lady, I am a sucker for love. But I have grown, and as every year passes I learn one new thing about how to love, how to receive, and how to give entirely to whatever it is that gets your blood pumping at that moment – it may not be a lover; it could mean a business idea, a project that has taken off already, anything!
At the moment, I’m not sure what it is that is getting my heart racing. It’s still a new year, and truly there is a brand to build….
Ok. Let me take this time to talk about my brand a bit.
You see, I got into Nollywood when it was still a dribbling toddler, barely able to stand, speak or co-ordinate its thoughts. It was a dream for me cos I’d always wanted to act. So through getting a degree in Law from The University of Lagos, I engaged part-time in acting, until I had my feet firmly on the ground to be a full-time actor – or so I thought.
There was a time I actually did think that I was getting the right kind of growth and progression in the industry. It seemed really slow but I was grateful for the jobs I got and I gave them my very best shot – oh yes, I pushed myself to the limits when it had to do with interpreting my roles, and I was glad with the, “Isn’t Adaora such a good actor?!” comments that came from fans and even from colleagues. But then……….I’m not sure what happened really, but it seemed I met a brick wall, or my career was a stalemate. I grew from confused to angry to confused again to bitter to sad, and then to prayerful. I tried not to focus on the cliché reasons of being a plus-size actress therefore being naturally limited to “good, more promising roles”, but it was hard not to get miserable over that excuse. I realised when the jobs came, they were tied to particular kind of roles that had to do with playing a mother, or an over-fed unattractive bitter sister-in-law, anything but the major and glamorous roles.
Sigh!
I’m not even going to pretend and say I shrugged it off. I tried to, yet it still hurts like an open sore. I know we live in a skinny world, with skinny people taking all the cream. How we got there, I am not sure….oh wait! Of course I’m sure! It’s all these glossy covers that celebrate size 0 women that make it hard for a young woman to eat a healthy plate of eba and ofe-nsala without feeling guilty (LOL!). I heard once that a lady had to take slim-enhancing tablets just so she could keep her job in front of the cameras. Women are anorexic, vomiting food after digestion just to stay a size 0. Men would look past the chubby girl and rest their lustful stares on the slimmer woman.
Let’s just say it’s a tough world for plus size people!
And in all of this, I have tried so many times to lose weight, just so I can ”fit in” (not sure what that means anymore) but I have come to realise that I am who I am; what would the world be like if we all had to be slim? Where is the variety of life if God created us all the same? I was hungry for challenging roles as an actress, and a more focused career that is beefed up with endorsements and sort, just like anyone with proper ambition would think for themselves; and to be hampered because of the way-you-look…aaaah! It just kills! But anyway I have gradually grown beyond it, and the healing and complete acceptance of who I am continues despite it all.
On a positive note, it’s a new year and I’ve got a lot of things packed and ready to push in 2012, things that will succeed regardless of how big or skinny I am! That is the life I have been able to discover. And that, sometimes, is the blessing that comes out of a situation you cannot handle. If you let people’s judgement of you come between your true abilities then you have become a slave to them and would live a life that satisfies them; and what a miserable life that would be!
I am finding a lot of “new” love for my career and for things I can birth out of just being who I am. As the days go by, and you come around here, you’ll find one exciting thing or the other that I and my team are working on. Even if I show any signs of giving up, my relentless publicist isn’t going to let that happen. Lol!
So in the spirit of love, I would say: find the kind of love that keeps your energy alive. We all deserve love, but not all of us will experience that I’ll-climb-mount-gilbrata-for-you kind of love, but know that you are surrounded by love always, even when you are totally unaware of it!
I’m wishing you a lovely day. And I’d like you to pop in here every day cos there’ll be good reason to. I am keeping my blog alive and fresh this year – like a cup of tea every morning, you’ll find that aha! moment in my cafe *wink*
So let’s just say this is the year for Adaora – plus size and all that jazz! Lol!
Enjoy a wonderful day!
- Adaora
